Assalamualaikum w.b.t
Alhamdulilah..Alhamdulilah..Alhamdulilah..
Praise be to ALLAH swt for His blessings throughout day and night without stop.
It takes quite so long for me to make this new entry.Yeah.new entry.new post.with new spirit.and perhaps A NEW OF ME!! So in this new entry, it will be a little bit longer than usual; trying to express my emotion as the way it is...the story of my life..another chapter of my life....and it started with :
Praise be to ALLAH swt for His blessings throughout day and night without stop.
It takes quite so long for me to make this new entry.Yeah.new entry.new post.with new spirit.and perhaps A NEW OF ME!! So in this new entry, it will be a little bit longer than usual; trying to express my emotion as the way it is...the story of my life..another chapter of my life....and it started with :
Few months back whereby i was ‘dissapeared’ from the rest; including my friends, even with my family. So many things happened in between making myself feel-
...I NEED TO BE ALONE.ALONE IN MY OWN WORLD WITH
OUT SOMEBODY.IT WAS TOTALLY DARK AS THE END OF EVERYTHING.MY DOOM DAY POSSIBLE?? FEW LIFE EVENTS MADE ME SO DEPRESSED AND I FELT LIKE NOWHERE I COULD GO....AND I NEED HELP...I TRIED TO GASP SOME NEW AIR, BUT THE LATER EVENT DUMPED
...I NEED TO BE ALONE.ALONE IN MY OWN WORLD WITH
OUT SOMEBODY.IT WAS TOTALLY DARK AS THE END OF EVERYTHING.MY DOOM DAY POSSIBLE?? FEW LIFE EVENTS MADE ME SO DEPRESSED AND I FELT LIKE NOWHERE I COULD GO....AND I NEED HELP...I TRIED TO GASP SOME NEW AIR, BUT THE LATER EVENT DUMPED ME EVEN FAR INTO I DIDN’T NOWHERE...I WAS SCARED..I WAS FRIGHTENED..I CRIED EVERY DAY AND NIGHT...BUT SEEMED NO HELP FOR ME...
...and so many other questions with ‘big mark’ at the end. I chose to keep “silent” as possible, and try to figure out how to answer. But, my mouth seemed shutted up with no clues as my mind kept thinking of what to say.......(SPEECHLESS is the word)
Yes indeed! Experience makes us more mature, more thoughtful, and so on. To get that experience, we need to face so-called ‘PROBLEMS’...the more problemSSSS you have, the more experienceSSSS you’ll get at the end. PROBLEMS and life can never ever be separated. Nobody whom being so successful never experience a hard time with problems (rationalization is it?, but it is the TRUTH!)...
Born in Malay culture and Islam as my belief made me felt so grateful (no offense to others). My parents had taught me very well especially in what i would becoming. Living in modesty without any lacking or extras in life trully had leaded myself to be hardworking in everything i did. No matter what it was, if you wanted something, you had to go for it...catch it..grab it...and work for it... Usually, i would try very hard to gain the rewards; as in my UPSR, PMR as wellas with SPM..and it was totally worthies indeed. You felt the sweetest of your own hardwork!!!...there
WORK HARD + PRAYER+BLESSING FROM PARENTS= SUCCESS
Realising those days, i was still immature and innocence about life; and during that time all i know was i needed to memorize it as part of the study. As the time went by, growing older and older, these basic things of Islam STILL FIXED in my heart and for sure there would be time for me to really understand the meaning of it. Again. ALHAMDULILAH..Then it came with maturity. People said once you matured, you would become the true ‘man’..the principle behind it was : MIND..When you reach your own maturity state, you would use your mind in everythings that you going to do, regardless of whatever it was. You would tend to think so deeply and questioning in each steps why these things happened..
Back to main story, experience also make someone become more mature! Honestly, the time of my “ disappearance” was actually the time for me to be a really MATURE person and getting to know myself more than before. Those isolation period basically had leaded me to think really deeply........
.....and by the time i felt so ‘nothing’ and i didn’t know where to go..suddenly...
A song sang by Maher zain strucked into my mind repeatedly!!! Again and again..and i downloaded the song!!!...I cried badly like a child losing his mom non stop..cried cried cried and lying alone on my bed...once the song downloaded i kept playing it repeatedly until i didn’t know how many times....until i fall asleep...with the song PLAYED over and over again...again and again.....
..and with ALLAH blessing, those were the time for me to realize so many things................................................
Admitting myself as a human being whom never skip to make mistakes..i did a lot of mistakes..yes i did..a lot...and like one of my friend says :
In the meantime, most of them kept asking me since then...
"where have you been?"
" you delete your facebook? why?"
" what happens to you actually?”
“you don’t want to be friend with us anymore??”
“bla bla bla bla”
...and so many other questions with ‘big mark’ at the end. I chose to keep “silent” as possible, and try to figure out how to answer. But, my mouth seemed shutted up with no clues as my mind kept thinking of what to say.......(SPEECHLESS is the word)
One wise man says:
“Experience is the best teacher”
it will be a big problem if you success without any problem...kinda akward i suppose since every success has its own price..the bigger PROBLEMS you have, then the BIGGER SUCCESS it will be..
Another wise man says :
“Berakit-rakit ke hulu,
Berenang-renang ke tepian,
Bersusah-susah dahulu,
Bersenang-senang kemudian”
i got formula of hardworking= success....
Despite being so hardworking, my parents also prepared myself with religious basis; ALHAMDULILAH (praise be to ALLAH SWT)..that would the exact word i should express everyday..every seconds in my life..My abah sent me to ABIM; an extra class for religious study whereby i learnt the meaning of LIFE...my childhood was so colourful, and i enjoyed it in every seconds. ALHAMDULILAH...thanks to my parents and may ALLAH SWT grant you the best rewards as it is later in Akhirat (after life).I love both of you with all my heart..and with that, i got another formula of success
WORK HARD + PRAYER+BLESSING FROM PARENTS= SUCCESS
Life is full with “stories”; in which there will be the time for you to be at the peak of something, and vice versa..Recalling back to my life ‘story’, my previous days had been hard..there were lots of unexpected things that totally i couldn’t control,
and now i realised that it was what i had been taught before....
RUKUN IMAN KE-ENAM : BERIMAN KEPADA QADA’ DAN QADAR...
Realising those days, i was still immature and innocence about life; and during that time all i know was i needed to memorize it as part of the study. As the time went by, growing older and older, these basic things of Islam STILL FIXED in my heart and for sure there would be time for me to really understand the meaning of it. Again. ALHAMDULILAH..Then it came with maturity. People said once you matured, you would become the true ‘man’..the principle behind it was : MIND..When you reach your own maturity state, you would use your mind in everythings that you going to do, regardless of whatever it was. You would tend to think so deeply and questioning in each steps why these things happened..
Just to share a little piece of my life in previous days, before these recent life events, i did go through a phase of miserable and i was immature to really know the
true reason behind it on that time. Watching my best friends went to boarded school while me myself still stuck in an ordinary school after UPSR even though i was eligible enough like them, had thrown me to a phase of sorrowfulness that i only could describe it. It was totally hard time for me, resulting in with BAD exam results during my form 1 and form 2..felt like a loser and there's no use to study anymore.
ALLAH SWT knows the best!!... I prayed very hard so that that i would be able to enter a boarded school as well one day...Alhamdulilah, ALLAH SWT granted my prayer; as i built back my spirit during my form 3, and there you go..i was chosen to enter a boarded school for my form 4 and form 5...since then, i prayed again and again for the next success and with His blessings, i entered medical school and try to learn to be a doctor; as what i aimed since i was in primary school..and again...Alhamdulilah..here i am.
Back to main story, experience also make someone become more mature! Honestly, the time of my “ disappearance” was actually the time for me to be a really MATURE person and getting to know myself more than before. Those isolation period basically had leaded me to think really deeply........
.....and by the time i felt so ‘nothing’ and i didn’t know where to go..suddenly...
“InsyaALLAH..
InsyaALLAH
InsyaALLAH
you’ll find the way”.........
A song sang by Maher zain strucked into my mind repeatedly!!! Again and again..and i downloaded the song!!!...I cried badly like a child losing his mom non stop..cried cried cried and lying alone on my bed...once the song downloaded i kept playing it repeatedly until i didn’t know how many times....until i fall asleep...with the song PLAYED over and over again...again and again.....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
....and i woke up..and the song still played..i felt so calmed and....there's no exact words to describe it actually....serenity.....peace....and so forth...
What made me cried badly again was when i looked back into the lyrics..it was meant for me!!!
Again..ALHAMDULILAH..ALHAMDULILAH..ALHAMDULILAH...
MAHER ZAIN : INSYAALLAH
Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can`t see which way to go
Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah 2x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can`t repent
And that its way too late
Your`re so confused,wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah 2x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Insya Allah 2x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He`s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You`re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way 2
Insya Allah 2x
Insya Allah we`ll find the way
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
....and i woke up..and the song still played..i felt so calmed and....there's no exact words to describe it actually....serenity.....peace....and so forth...
What made me cried badly again was when i looked back into the lyrics..it was meant for me!!!
Again..ALHAMDULILAH..ALHAMDULILAH..ALHAMDULILAH...
..and with ALLAH blessing, those were the time for me to realize so many things................................................ The purpose of life.why all those PROBLEMS
suddenly haunted myself endlessly without mercy..and also the time for me to renewing myself..learning on what it is all about...so what it is? I believe this is the “hidayah”
( the true way) that ALLAH SWT the most merciful has given to me..ALHAMDULILAH..ALHAMDULILAH..ALHAMDULILAH..
Admitting myself as a human being whom never skip to make mistakes..i did a lot of mistakes..yes i did..a lot...and like one of my friend says :
“ this might be your turning point”
Yes!.I want to change.Become a better person.Turning point is the word!!!
From the bottom of nowhere, i try very very very hard (even now) to climb back to the peak..the true peak of this LIFE truly meant for..May ALLAH keep myself at this path till the end..end before to go back to the Creator- ALLAH SWT...
RUKUN IMAN KE-ENAM : BERIMAN KEPADA QADA’ DAN QADAR...
From the bottom of nowhere, i try very very very hard (even now) to climb back to the peak..the true peak of this LIFE truly meant for..May ALLAH keep myself at this path till the end..end before to go back to the Creator- ALLAH SWT...
RUKUN IMAN KE-ENAM : BERIMAN KEPADA QADA’ DAN QADAR...
Alhamdulilah...this my childhood memories has come to the real answer...believing that ALLAH SWT is the one and only whom destined the path of every each of His creation....Believe is not just from the word spoken that come from our mouth, but it comes from our heart..
And now..my life feel more blessed and perhaps more targeted!!..Perhaps, this is another chapter of my life that has been written for me since before it is in order to make me a better doctor and successful human as it is...
to be success not only in this mortal world, but also in the after life.Amin....................
Ahmad Fairol, 3.15 am..(“,)
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